PROMEISTER, Raimaru, Shinsuke

[.Snow]

[STYLE=color: ba0011; font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 35px; letter-spacing: -3px;]♠ RAIMARU, SHINSUKE[/style]

[atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,3,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=valign, top][atrb=style, color: f9f9f9;][STYLE=width: 100px; padding: 10px; background-color: 0883a6;][/style] [STYLE=background-color: 0883a6; width: 110px; padding: 5px; color: ededed; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size: 11px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; margin-top: -10px;]SEVENTEEN[/style] [STYLE=background-color: 0883a6; width: 110px; padding: 5px; color: ededed; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size: 11px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; margin-top: -10px;]MALE[/style] [STYLE=background-color: 0883a6; width: 110px; padding: 5px; color: ededed; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size: 11px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; margin-top: -10px;]HETEROSEXUAL[/style] [STYLE=background-color: 0883a6; width: 110px; padding: 5px; color: ededed; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size: 11px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; margin-top: -10px;]MUSICIAN[/style] [STYLE=background-color: 0883a6; width: 110px; padding: 5px; color: ededed; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size: 11px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; margin-top: -10px;]PROMEISTER[/style] [STYLE=background-color: 0883a6; width: 110px; padding: 5px; color: ededed; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size: 11px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; margin-top: -10px;]MADE BY MINNIE OF BTN![/style]

[atrb=style, color: f9f9f9;][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; font-family: Arial narrow; font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; background-color: 525252; border-bottom: 3px solid #f9f9f9;]( Susanooh ) -- ☆[/style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; background-color: d5d5d5; font-family: arial; color: 313131; font-size: 11px;]★ N A M E: Shinsuke Raimaru ★ D. O. B.: October 18th ★ H E I G H T: 5 feet and 7 inches ★ W E I G H T: 145 lbs ★ A P P E A R A N C E: Upon the cranium of this enigma are black tresses with a bluish tint that is pulled back in a ponytail. That fall upon the back side of his neck. With a few locks of raven-goodness gracing his forehead. Golden Brown. His eyes often reflect light in an odd way to appear different colors at times. These colors are: blue, and a more of a maroon tint. Due to his body being well trained for sports at a young age he has found himself to be quite athletic and well in shape. With him standing at a decent Five feet and Seven inches tall, one would say he was more fitted towards playing a less contact sport, but his toughness of his being provided him dreams. This was the size of the very athletic Raimaru, Shinsuke. His tone of his muscles also garnered eyes from the ladies.style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; font-family: Arial narrow; font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; background-color: 525252; border-bottom: 3px solid #f9f9f9;]★ PERSONALITY[/style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; background-color: d5d5d5; font-family: arial; color: 313131; font-size: 11px;]★ G E N E R A L: He seems always serene and apathetic towards other people, even when he is actually deeply conflicted. He is also extremely calm, even in battle, and is very seldom surprised by even the most drastic of actions. Ironically, when he was younger, he was quick to anger and very hotheaded which within his time with the weapon known as Ayumi; he had obtained a measure of control. Though the lust would seemingly seep out during heated moments of conflict. That could and most likely lead to conflicts with other meisters. That was merely because he believed in his decision and would always stand by it. He's one that will uphold his views no matter what was presented in front of him. His friends were his main thing and that also allows one to notice the amount of effort that goes in protecting those dear to him. This man was truly a warrior of added strength and now he'll continue to make his way to gaining a full understand of his current state. Adapting at best when needed, but also his carelessness seems to be faked at times to make his comrades feel at ease. This is Shinsuke Raimaru. ★ L I K E S & D I S L I K E S: ♥ Mastering all forms and arts of Martial Arts with the Sword being a first priority. ♥ Challenging Strong People ♥ Women ✗ Being compared to others that he considers weak compared to him ✗ Those who think they are better than him ✗ Dislikes annoying preppy people ★ H O B B I E S & H A B I T S: ⋆ Training to the Extreme ⋆ Looking into the skies ⋆ Resorting to walking away from things he feels uncomfortable in and finding solitude...something which he detests ⋆ Finding a way to train even when the area around him isn't exactly the place to do so. ★ S E C R E T S & F E A R S: ⋆ Has a fondness for whoever can accept his unusual ways. ⋆ Wishes to have a relationship with one of the academy(Ayumi) ⋆ Being betrayed by those he thought he could trust ⋆ Being used as test subject for some mad scientist ★ A M B I T I O N S: ⋆ Being accepted within the dojo of Bushinryu. ⋆ Making his partner into the perfect Deathscythe ⋆ Going down in DWMA and even the heretics history books as the greatest Meister to ever grace this planet [/style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; font-family: Arial narrow; font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; background-color: 525252; border-bottom: 3px solid #f9f9f9;]★ HISTORY[/style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; background-color: d5d5d5; font-family: arial; color: 313131; font-size: 11px;] The day that Shinsuke arrived at the DMWA was during a strange time. He was alone and he felt like no one could literally touch him. However, people saw his skills being displayed when he was practicing hand to hand combat as well as swordplay. The young male knew how to handle a weapon and to fend for himself if he lost that weapon in said combat. Tons of people were impressed and they began to make recommendations for him to join the DWMA. He was surprised when he got word of the news and they brought him over from a far away land. When he arrived that day people looked at him indifferently, but there was one who kept a eye on him. While the others around him talked behind his back, talking bout they don't feel like he is as great as the teachers made him out to be. Opinions could hurt one and alter another's mindset, but Shinsuke Raimaru was a different beast altogether. He began to put that potential of greatness on display, but a lot of students and teachers weren't prepared for the over confident personality that came with him. He saw himself as a reincarnation of God and felt like he was unbeatable. It was slowly becoming true in the eyes of the others as his swordsmanship was leagues above the others, while his hand to hand combat was slowly growing. He noticed another person who was growing and gaining recognition for their aptitude, but they said she was far different than Shinsuke personality wise. Then, the day came for them to be partnered up with their weapons of choice. The strangest thing about the situation was that Ayumi was alone the night before. She was looking out over the horizon and Shinsuke happened to walk by her. She let him pass without muttering a word, but the one that broke that silence was Shinsuke. He was blunt and his words held enough weight behind him to hold her gaze on him. He had told her he would surpass Death and God. If he couldn't do that much, he would flat out murder them as he'll be the strongest to grace the planet. He had a dream that was out there, but it was that which grasped Ayumi. The next time you saw the two, they were together and the budding relationship was blooming perfectly. He had shown unmistakable promise as he and his partner Ayumi soared through teh ranks and completed all assignments that were made prior to them moving up into the appointed status of Promeister. They executed top level assignments and did so without even burning up resources. He even came very well knowledgeable on how to utilize it's abilities as well as his own soul wavelength in multiple ways. His control over lightning was very much improved since he first came to the DMWA. He has a very strong connection with music, prose, and poetry. During one of those Top Level Assignments they were sent to England where they faced off against a Kishin Egg by the Embassy. The battle went on for a few days as it took the turn from honorable one on one battle to guerrilla tactics against others as well. However, when Shinsuke got hurt and it seem like they were on their last leg. He began to fall into a deep process of moping that eventually he was snapped out by the warm kiss that was placed on his lips from his partner. That seem to slowly reenergize the Meister as he'll begin to push his resonance with his partner more. That battle lasted for days on end as the two fought through exhaustion and sought for refuge. It was obvious they weren't going to receive backup, but that was due to the pride of one man. One that wanted to surpass the gods and if not surpass them, he wanted them dead. He always had told Ayumi if push came to shove to leave him behind, but she was just as focused as she wanted to see him succeed as well. Ayumi wanted Shinsuke to achieve his goal and she was going to stick with him no matter what. He seem to fall into a state of meditation, but it was him questioning his own strength. During that time as he stepped out from behind a wall and looked at the foes before him. He'll hold his hand out as Ayumi grabbed it and he began to resonate with her. Then, all of a sudden a black demonic like wing sprouted from his back as he looked on. He wasn't sure what had happened, but he used this to his advantage. The two had stepped forth and flew in the air. Their enemies were shocked and so was they, but Ayumi had a pretty clear cut idea of what was happening. She smiled as she was in her sword form and he held her with confidence once more. This was the Grigori Soul they had studied about at the academy. Shinsuke dropped into the embassy and the battle engaged. It was long and tedious, but afterwards the skirmishes came to a end as the soul was now collected and they had to head back to Death City. However, something drastic happened that day... When he arrived back to Death City, Ayumi was nowhere to be found. He wandered around looking for her for a while, but found no one. He was alone although some thought he preferred solitude instead of companionship. His head dropped in disappointment at the entirety of it all. Was it something he did? He would dwell on the situation for a long time, but when he arrived in front of Lord Death himself. His eyes had sorrow behind them, but Death merely promoted him from student meister to Promeister. The shock was on his face, but he was still worried about his partner. He constantly worried about her, and now he would be faced with possibly partnering up with someone who didn't share his goals. Shinsuke wasn't too sure about this world now. Even after the two discovered something entirely new that could be game changing. She disappeared was there a reason behind it. He would seek out the reasons soon enough. Maybe this was the beginning of a new chapter for Shinsuke. [/style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; font-family: Arial narrow; font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; background-color: 525252; border-bottom: 3px solid #f9f9f9;]★ ABILITIES[/style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; background-color: d5d5d5; font-family: arial; color: 313131; font-size: 11px;] (meister) ★ S P E C I A L S O U L: ⋆ Grigori Soul] Being blessed with soul that is so rare that it appears every fifty million people. Shinsuke was unaware of his soul type for he was one that focused on using his Soul Purge abilities. Shinsuke's Wings from his Grigori Soul are formed among his back. Using his Shoulder blades as a medium for these angelic wings to form. The only difference was that these wings took on a different form. Instead of looking like an angel's wings it seemingly seems that these wings took on a more demonic nature. The soul of Raimaru, Shinsuke looks like a normal soul, but with the wings of a demonic creature sprouting out from the back. There is a crest over the heart that resembles something of a marking from birth. Also running among the soul itself is various bolts of lightning. Thus, approval of his reign over Natural lighting and Soul Lightning. The relationship between him and his partner also gave clearance for his partner who shares the same abilities as well. Nonetheless to say his soul was rather large and possessed a great amount of power. Needless to say that the forms these wings taken are based off of the drive for power that came with Raimaru's drive for power. It seemed to awaken this Grigori soul type that was lying dormant within his early years as a Student Meister. Now a Promeister the ability of the wings have slightly changed since discovering them among his last year as a student. That being said Raimaru is able to utilize his wings to cover himself in a defensive shell. Improving his versatility in battle, so now he can take to the air against opponents who favor in having the higher ground and the advantage in the skies. Even the ability to formulate these wings at any spot among his body as long as the manipulation of where these said wings would sprout would come to form theses wings over his body. Even be able to form theses wings over his blade like a extra layer of cutting essence causing it to become a pseudo weapon at any point utilizing the power of the Grigori Soul. His Grigori Soul has several different ways of dealing with a few situations. One of those abilities would be firing thin senbon like needles from the wings coated in the electrifying element of lighting. These can be fired in a barrage or even utilized in somewhat of a assassination technique. If done right, by firing one rather large senbon like feather of death into his opponent frying them in the process from the inside out. ★ S P E C I A L A B I L I T I E S: ⋆ [Soul Menace] Harmonizing with his partner, Shinsuke has the ability to manipulate his soul wavelength to the point where he can fire it into his opponents. It's done a number of ways with how one could utilize it, but it's most effective with in deals with using his hands. After effectively striking the opponent with his fist or palms, the user would then begin to channel his wavelength into a more devastating force. Applying his affinity with lightning to his wavelength the blast would strike its opponents seeking out the water throughout one's body and attempting to paralyze them or render a body part paralyzed all the same. The Soul purge utilized by Shinsuke is one to be feared and if some aren't ready it would be a rude awakening for those struck by his Soul Menace. ⋆ [Sutatikku Nagare] This technique allows Raimaru to create a wave of electricity from his hands. Being able to vary its power from a small surge to shock an opponent to a powerful stream of lightning capable of ripping through solid rock. Due to the rarity of his Grigori Soul, Shinsuke can even control it enough to use his partner as a lightning rod amplifying it's strength. Based on his wavelengths strength, Shinsuke is able to utilize this ability at any moment emitting it from all over his body. That being able to run it along the ground and running it along his blade. Using his weapon partner can also buff up his ability to manipulate magnetism within thirty feet. His manipulation can even go so far to coating his entire body in this electrical current as well as his weapon increasing its cutting properties. [/style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; font-family: Arial narrow; font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; background-color: 525252; border-bottom: 3px solid #f9f9f9;]★ OUT OF CHARACTER[/style][STYLE=width: 400px; padding: 10px; background-color: d5d5d5; font-family: arial; color: 313131; font-size: 11px;]★ F A C E - C L A I M: [b]D.Grayman[/b] - Kanda Yuu, [i]Raimaru, Shinsuke[/i] ★ N A M E: Haneyama ★ C H A R A C T E R S: My only one. [/style]

[POWER]

Well hello there! My name is Mark, and i will be grading your App today. It seems we have a few things we need to figure out before you can get accepted, but worry not, I shall guide you through this process and help any way I can.

• Appearance: Alright so first thing's first. In your appearance I'd like you to add a link to a reference picture of your Face Claim for your app. While technically not required it helps people get a good first look at your character's appearance. I also suggest this because you lack an explination of clothing style so it will also help in that area. ^w^
  
  Also, the last sentence of your appearance: "His tone of his muscles also garnered eyes from the ladies as well as his handsome looks of course."
  
  This is bordering on the Mary/Gary Sue concept, which basically means it's a very opinionated sentence and needs to be editted or taken out. It is up to the people in the RP to decide what they think about your character. Not to say you can't have some random NPC adore him from afar, but you can't assume everyone will think your character is good looking.
  
  
• History: To be honest your History isn't very discriptive and it also border lines on the Mary/Gary Sue concept. I'd like you to add more detail in your history and try not to make it seem like your character is some sort of unbeatable god because that's kinda how it sounds to me. If needed you may want to redo your history entirely. Try adding things like how he entered the DWMA, how he met Ayumi, where did she disapear? How did he find he had a Grigori soul? Things like that. Remember he's a Promeister so his history should be a little longer than a student meister's would be.
  
  
• Abilities: And lastly, your abilities section. I'm afraid that you have gone quite overboard regarding the powers of your abilities. To be more specific I'll list them as I see them when i read them over.
  
  1: His Soul Menace can Paralyze
  
  2: His Grigori Soul can form wings anywhere on his body as well as on his weapon and become a blade, whil;e also being able to shoot projectiles at an enemy or a single large projectile that can vaporize a person on contact. While also being able to make a barrier around himself to defend from attack.
  
  3: His Sutatikku Nagare is basically summoning a lightning bolt that can destroy a boulder so in heinsight it can rip a person in half or worse.
  
  I'm sorry to say these abilities either need to be severely watered down or rethought, because even though he's a Promeister that doesn't mean he would be able to do all these things. Even Stein wasn't able to do most of these things and he was the best Meister in the DWMA in the anime.
  
  Once you have made the necissary changes please post here or PM my account. If you need help just contact one of the Mods if I'm not around, or send me a PM. I look forward to RPing with you in the future. Ta-Ta for now~ <3

[.Snow]

I think you should explain what exactly it is that I need to change about my abilities. You listed them and basically stated what I had them doing. >_> How about a bit more descriptive please so I can properly fix it. If not I will never be able to edit and get accepted. >_> Plus I never stated a barrier of any sorts...I folded the wing of my Grigori soul over me like a barrier. >_>